19 March 2006

Wolfgang's TWIKEmobile

It's always great to hear back from the LETS hosts who accommodated me on my 4 international LETS tours. These are friendships that I've made and I'll treasure for the rest of my life.

One of these friends is Wolfgang Gerster from Braunfels, Germany. He sent me a beautiful poem, which accompanied a picturesque winter photo he had taken.

I was so impressed that I sent him the following email. Other email correspondence are also included.

His TWIKEmobile poem is published below.

>>>

Thanks for the birthday wishes, Wolfgang.

And thanks for the poem. It is a great poem, and it described the photo perfectly.

Did you take the photo of the snow dog?

Actually, now that I have seen your poetic skills, how would you like to write a poem about your beloved TWIKE-mobile? A scant reference to me, somewhere, would be a real buzz! ... and I'll place it in my books along with your story, "The Greenest Braunfelser". It could be as short or long as you like ... I'll leave that up to you.

If you like, I could also feature it somewhere on www.LETS-Linkup.com, so everyone can read it.

BTW, are you still "president" of Branfels?

James

>>>

[from Wolfgang]

I did, indeed [take the photo]. Lore took one on real old fashioned photographic film, too.

[regarding my suggestion for a TWKEmobile poem]
We'll see if the muse hits me again. Thanx for the compliment.

Hey, I never was [president]. There'll be a local election on 26 March, and I shall be helping to push the green ticket, that's all.

It's a pleasure to find you're doing so very well. I am so sorry your special [$50 LETS] offer won't function here because of the language.

BTW (to quote you), Lore and I spent some ten days on the Greek island of Kefalonia. Tourism works all right, in English, but Greek would have worked a good deal better.

Wolfgang.

>>>

Give my regards to Lore, Wolfgang. And I hope that muse hits you good and proper!

BTW, I spent a few days on Kefalonia in 2001. It was supposed to be a working trip, but it ended up being a disaster. The only good thing about it was that I got a few good stories out of it, which ended up in my book, Athens to Santorini. [see www.JamesTaris.com]

All the best with the election.

James

>>>

Dear James,

It wasn't a muse that kissed but a bug that bit. So here is a decidedly dry, non-humourous didactic bit of rhyming covering both the TWIKE and James, the man who was taken for a ride on day three.

The opening verse was hijacked from Samuel Hoffenstein's "The Gnu", which goes like this:

The gnu is a remarka-bul
(from all descriptions) ani-mul.
Yet how remarka-bul must you
appear to the excentric gnu?
There's something wrong with all of us,
let's ask the hippopotamus.

I found this in a tome among the reject books of the English seminar library in my student days. Pity I didn't pinch it, for I've never found it again. It's full of similar gems. Could the LETS worldwide link system help me lay my hands on another copy? However, here goes:

[The TWIKEmobile poem followed. You can read it below.]

Wolgang Gerster and his environmentally-friendly TWIKEmobile. You can read his story in the editorial above. The TWIKEmobile by Wolfgang Gerster The TWIKE is a remarka-bul (from all descriptions) ve-he-cul: you need no oil, you need no gas, no petrol, diesel, all that jazz, and if you've solar on your roof you may be sure to stand aloof of all that fossil-guzzling lot that cause our atmosphere to rot, to wit, the average motor car that folks are driving near and far. A model of simplicity, TWIKE runs on electricity. You want to join me for a ride? Come on, James, settle by my side. We've got three wheels and seats for two that you will fit in like a shoe. Pull down our pilot's canopy and start the count-down. Now, let's see, how do we start the engine? Got the key? Don't need one. Press two switches, see? The panel glows in greenish mode now key in your four-digit code, and off we go as smooth as grease enjoying TWIKE's exhaustless peace. Hey, where's your pedal, stop it, mate, we surely must accelerate to safely join the traffic flow! No wheel, and there's a bend below! I say, don't lose your comp, and chuckle, there's many a mickle makes a muckle. I use this walking stick to show whichever way we want to go, and in the handle's polished pit an ac- and decel'rator sit. Thus, speed is at my fingertips. Man, put a smile upon your lips. And calmly cruising through the curves puts some demands on people's nerves each sharp right turn is somewhat rummy, my elbow lands in James's tummy. At some point, after half an hour, a red light shows we're short of power. Our weight combined with rough terrain has caused an unexpected drain. So, what to do? drive on until you find some chap who's kind and will sell you a kilo off his socket - some change (in case) should line your pocket. Two hours will do to fill her up for fifty miles or more. Time to see sights or have a cup of coffee in a store. Then get on board, close hatch, and strike out for new realms and roads by TWIKE! ________ You can read more about Wolfgang, The Greenest Braunfelser, in the ebooks, Global Quest for Local LETS or The Globetrotting LETSaholic. About the book About the book Do you have a song or poem on LETS? If so, send it to me. I'd love to publish it on my website.

---

Blondes' Revenge Against Brunettes

AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE
A gorgeous young blonde goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it. "Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me." The brunette took her finger, pushed on her left arm and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, "You're not really a blonde, are you? "Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a brunette." "I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."

FLORIDA
Two Brunettes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking........
And one brunette says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away..........Florida or the moon?" The other brunette turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida...?????"

SPEEDING TICKET
A police officer stops a brunette for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"

RIVER WALK
There's this brunette out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another brunette on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the other side?" The second brunette looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, "You ARE on the other side."

KNITTING
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the brunette behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his
bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!" "NO!" the brunette yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"

BRUNETTE ON THE SUN
A Russian, an American, and a brunette were talking one day. The Russian said, "We were the first in space!" The American said, "We were the first on the moon!" The brunette said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!" The Russian and the American looked at each other and
shook their heads. "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian. To which the brunette replied, "We're not stupid like you blondes we're going at night!!

IN A VACUUM
A brunette was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was," If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?" She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"

DOGS
Brunette girl was visiting her brunette friend who had aquired two
new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The brunette
responded by saying that one was named Rolex and and one was named Timex. Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"
"HELLLOOOOOOO......," answered the brunette They're watch dogs!"

Q. What's black and blue and brown and laying in a ditch?
A. A brunette who's told too many blonde jokes.

Q. What do you call going on a blind date with a brunette?
A. Brown-bagging it.

Q. What's the real reason a brunette keeps her figure?
A. No one else wants it.

Q. What do you call a brunette in a room full of blondes?
A. Invisible.

Q. What's a brunette's mating call?
A. "Has the blonde left yet? "

Q. Why didn't Indians scalp brunettes?
A. The hair from a buffalo's butt was more manageable.

Q. Why is brunette considered an evil color?
A. When was the last time you saw a blonde witch?

Q. What do brunettes miss most about a great party?
A. The invitation

Q. What do you call a good looking man with a brunette?
A. A hostage

Q. Who makes bras for brunettes?
A. Fisher-Price

Q. Why are brunettes so proud of their hair?
A. It matches their moustache.

---

10 February 2006

UTOPIA and LETS

About the book

I’ve just finished reading Utopia.

What a revelation! This book was written in 1515 by Sir Thomas More (even though he was knighted, in the end, King Henry VIII still chopped off his head!) and has been the role model for many countries and societies ever since – all adding their own twist to the Utopia model and experiencing different levels of success.

When I began the book, I had no idea what lay in store for me. My understanding of Utopia didn’t go much further than thinking it was a kind of paradise, full-stop.

But as I read, I realised that in so many ways, it was like a big LETS group!

Everyone in Utopia works and everyone prospers. But there is no money! Even gold and silver are valueless. In fact, they consider precious metals to be so worthless “they make their chamber pots and close-stools of gold and silver”!

They all work in areas that are helpful to their local communities and deliver their produce to the market place. In exchange they collect whatever they need for their families. They don’t have any desire to take more than they can use because there is no benefit to them. As there is no money, they cannot sell any excess for personal gain. Anyway, if they are ever short on anything, they know they can always go back to the market and get more of whatever they need.

One particular passage also caught my attention because it related so closely to my recent LETS travels around the world, where I exchanged my speaking services for accommodation, meals, etc …

“If any man has a mind to travel only over the precinct of his own city, he may freely do it, with his father's permission and his wife's consent; but when he comes into any of the country houses, if he expects to be entertained by them, he must labour with them and conform to their rules; and if he does this, he may freely go over the whole precinct, being then as useful to the city to which he belongs as if he were still within it. Thus you see that there are no idle persons among them, nor pretences of excusing any from labour.”

It is understandable why this book - written nearly 500 years ago – has attracted a continuous readership all these years. It is a book full of hope … for us and for our future.

If you would like to read it, you can get a non-password protected .PDF copy (suitable for use on all computers) from www.Honey-BeeBooks.com for only $1.99. This is a non-copyright ebook, so you can read it (or copy it) and pass it on.

Hoping that LETS can become the Utopia it can truly be for you,

Happy trading, James

---

Kids are fun!

The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an
urgent problem with one of the main computers, dialed the employee's
home phone number and was greeted with a child's whisper.

"Hello."

"Is your daddy home?" he asked.

"Yes," whispered the small voice.

"May I talk with him?"

The child whispered, "No."

Surprised, and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your
Mommy there?"

"Yes."

"May I talk with her?"

Again the small voice whispered, "No."

Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message , the boss asked, "Is anybody! Else there?"

"Yes," whispered the child, "a policeman."

Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?"

"No, he's busy" , whispered the child.

"Busy doing what?"

"Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman," came the whispered
answer.

Growing concerned and even worried as he heard what sounded like a
helicopter through the ear piece on the phone the boss asked, "What is
that noise?"

"A hello-copper" answered the whispering voice.

"What is going on there?" asked the boss, now truly alarmed.

In an awed whispering voice the child answered, "The search team just
landed the hello-copper."

Alarmed, concerned, and even more then just a little frustrated the boss asked, "What are they searching for?"

Still whispering, the young voice replied along with a muffled giggle: "Me."

---

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAMES

25 January 2006

Special LETS Group Offer

It's my birthday tomorrow. I'll be 51. These past few years have been almost surreal for me.

I have travelled around the world as a public speaker, written and published books. I've even written and performed a play around the world as well.

Now I'm starting an online publishing business
www.Honey-BeeBooks.com and working on other web sites as well.

This is all a far cry from my life as it was just 10 years ago.

Today I am living my dreams, knowing that everything is possible if I believe ... truly believe. (I got that line from my play, The Glory Of Athens!)
www.TheGloryOfAthens.com

I just want you to know that if it wasn't for LETS, none of these opportunities would have presented themselves to me.

LETS gave me the opportunity to become a public speaker. First, locally, then internationally on 5 continents around the world.

LETS gave me the opportunity to become a writer, initially for my LETS group's newsletter, then onward to writing and publishing 18 books.

LETS gave me the opportunity to design web sites. I graduated from Newsletter Co-ordinator for my first LETS group to Web Site Co-ordinator for another LETS group.

All of the time I was excited about my achievements. All of the time I gave my time freely and received generous support from the LETS group committee and other members as well.

I hoped for the best and ended up with so much more than I ever expected. It's seems almost unbelievable, even to myself.

My personal story and how I saw LETS at its best are described in full detail in my payback to the LETS community, my book, The LETSaholic Twist.

Since releasing it over a year ago, the sales have trickled through at a slow but consistant rate. With over 1500 LETS groups around the world, I am sure that the "good oil on LETS" (as one of my readers described it) has still a long way to go before it makes the positive impact I know it is capable of.

So, on this day, as a Birthday Gift to all the LETS community, I am offering, The LETSaholic Twist SPECIAL GROUP OFFER. (see offer at top of this homepage).

It is excellent value, giving your group 50 ebooks for your members, plus a soft cover copy for your LETS library, all for only US$50 (international postage included).

I'm not sure how it will go, so it's only being offered until the end of next month (February).

I am enjoying my life now, and I would love to continue doing what I love best; writing, publishing, developing web sites and supporting the LETS community - which I'll be forever grateful.

Your support helps me to help you and all the LETS communities around the world.

I'm not getting rich. I'm just trying to get by, doing the things I love best ... and LETS is at the top of the list.

Oh, The LETSaholic Twist will really benefit your group too ... I promise!

Happy trading, James

CLICK HERE

About the book

---

The Ostrich...

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him.

The waitress asks for their orders. The man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to the ostrich, "What's yours?"

"I'll have the same," says the ostrich.

A short time later the waitress returns with the order. "That will be $9.40
please," and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, "A
hamburger, fries, and a coke."

The ostrich says, "I'll have the same."

Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

This becomes routine until, the two enter again.

"The usual?" asks the waitress.

"No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato, and salad,
says the man.

"Same," says the ostrich.

Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, "That will be $32.62".

Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it
on the table.

The waitress can't hold back her curiosity any longer.

"Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change out of your pocket every time?"

"Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes.

My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there."

"That's brilliant!" says the waitress. "Most people would wish for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!"

"That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there," says the man.

The waitress asks, "But, sir, what's with the ostrich?"

The man sighs, pauses, and answers.

"My second wish was for a tall chick with long legs who agrees with everything I say."

---

31 December 2005

Happy New Year!

I hope you all had an enjoyable Christmas. I'm still writing and publishing my books in Shanghai, so Christmas was a little low-key here.

Mind you, the Chinese have their own way of recognising the Westerners' Christmas festival, as the following photo - which I took - illustrates quite clearly (painted on the the side of a department store in the heart of Shanghai).

I guess, for me, the highlight of this year has been the publication of my books. Firstly, as ebooks (I have 18 ebooks) and secondly, as bound books (I have 10 books available as hard covers and/or soft covers).

The last book I published was the much awaited, The LETSaholic Twist. I am pleased to say the orders have already begun, and hope that my book can help LETS groups around the world where I have, and haven't, been ... yet!

The LETSaholic Twist went through one more "final edit" before publication, and another book cover design as well.

It's a book that I am sure you will refer to again and again, gleening new implementable ideas from every one of its 204 pages.

You can purchase your copy from this link... CLICK HERE

Wishing you and your LETS group all the best for 2006, and hoping that we may cross paths (for the first, second or third time) at some time in the near future.

P.S. All copies of The LETSaholic Twist purchased from my web site are despatched by me personally, so I would be happy to sign a dedication to you or your LETS group.

---

The Monk Who Found The Truth

A new young monk arrives at the monastery and as with all new monks he is assigned to help the other monks in copying the old canons and laws of the church by hand.

He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript.

So, the new monk goes to the head abbot to question this, pointing out that if someone made even a small error in the first copy, it would never be picked up. In fact, that error would be continued in all of the subsequent copies.

The head monk, says, "We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son."

So, he goes down into the dark caves underneath the monastery where the original manuscript is held as archives in a locked vault that hasn't been opened for hundreds of years.

Hours go by and nobody sees the old abbot. So, the young monk gets worried and goes downstairs to look for him.

He sees him banging his head against the wall, and wailing, "We forgot the "R"! "We forgot the "R"! "We forgot the "R"! "We forgot the "R"!

His forehead is all bloody and bruised and he is crying
uncontrollably. The young monk asks the old abbot, "What's wrong, father?"

With a choking voice, the old abbot replies, "The word is celebrate!"

---

29 October 2005

My Turn To Play Host

In his China Trip Report, Thomas Greco gave a succinct account of his 'James Taris experience'. The only relevant omission I can think of is when we were crossing a typically busy Shanghai road. I saw a sizeable gap in the traffic approaching, so I began to run across beckoning the others to follow. Unfortunately, Tom didn’t share my confidence as he reluctantly ran after me screaming, “We’re all gonna get killed”!

[Response from Tom ...
Readers might be interested to know that I consider the urban traffic in China (in both Shanghai and Wuhan) to be the most chaotic I've ever seen -- cars, trucks, bicycles, pedestrians all competing for the same space in an amazing process that almost defies description. If they have traffic laws, no one seems to observe them, and pedestrians exhibit what is either tremendous confidence in the skill and sobriety of motor vehicle drivers or a level of foolhardiness that is unparalleled in my experience. Cheers, Tom ]

Anyway, this is part of Tom’s China Trip Report …

>>>>>>>>

I arranged my flights from the U.S. so that I had a few days to spend in Shanghai at both the beginning and end of my trip. The time spent there was quite enjoyable. I was fortunate that I had a correspondent there, Australian author, actor, and world-traveler, James Taris, who graciously helped me find my way around and get oriented to the local Chinese culture. We had not known each other very well and had not previously met in person, but found that we had much in common and enjoyed each other's company. James has made several trips to Shanghai, has been living there for the past few months, and plans to remain there until the middle of next year. He has made some good contacts with local people who were happy to spend time with us and show us around, giving them an opportunity to practice their English.

James met my flight from San Francisco at the Pudong airport and escorted me to the shuttle bus and my hotel. I'd have had a hard time finding it without his help. The shuttle, luckily, stopped in front of Shanghai Mansion, just across the street from the Pujiang Hotel where I had already booked a room through the internet site of Hostelling International. Using the internet turned out to be a wise move since the rate I got was much better than the rate that was offered on the spot. The Pujiang Hotel, formerly called the Astor House Hotel, is no flop house for teenage travelers but a vintage hotel that carries its age gracefully. Described as "the first western style hotel in China," it has a long history and boasts having had in its heyday such illustrious guests as Bertrand Russell and Albert Einstein.

James and his Chinese friend Rachel met me again the next day for some sightseeing and shopping. Rachel is in the process of becoming a licensed tour guide and has already been a great help to some highly placed foreigners. She has a bright and breezy personality and knows her way around the city, and was a delight to be with.

One of our stops was the "Fakes Market" where there are dozens of stalls that sell knock-offs of various brand name, designer merchandise, including shirts and shoes, plus jewelry, watches, and many other things. James and I allowed Rachel to do our hard bargaining for us (in Chinese) with the merchants and we were amazed at the low prices we were able to get on some pretty nice stuff.

I also arranged through another contact in the U.S. to connect with Frank Sang who runs the Shanghai Barter Company, a commercial trade exchange. The "barter" industry is relatively new in China so the potential for growth is huge. Frank and I seemed to agree on the basic principles relating to the proper operation for such exchanges, so I have a strong sense that he will be successful in quickly building his business.

After completing my assignment at HUST in Wuhan, I flew back to Shanghai where I enjoyed another three days. Once again, James managed to connect with several of his Chinese friends who showed us around and proved to be good company. We enjoyed taking the ferry across the river to Pudong with two young ladies (college students) from the "English corner" who were eager to practice their English. We went up into the Oriental Pearl tower where we got a bird's eye view of Shanghai and Pudong (I learned that Pudong means "east of the river;" Pu Xi means "west of the river," i.e. old Shanghai) and took some awesome pictures. English corner, by the way, is a regular prearranged gathering where Chinese get together to speak English. They are very grateful to have a native English speaker show up, so James has been very popular with them.

The next day Rachel took us to a shop where we bought new movie DVD's for 8 yuan each (equivalent to about one dollar). I was happy that she suggested that we have dinner at the Pizza Hut, since I was by that time pretty maxed out on Chinese food. The Pizza Hut in Shanghai is unlike any I've seen in the Sates, it's quite the plush restaurant with good food and immaculate bathrooms; expensive by Chinese standards, but a good model for them to emulate. Bathrooms in China are often disgustingly dirty and lack both toilet paper and soap. That seems to be changing rapidly, though, as China is making a great effort to modernize. One article in the English language newspaper reported that the Shanghai municipal government is planning to build 1,200 new markets all around the city and to outfit them with modern, hygienic toilet facilities.

After dinner, we wandered over to the bar at 5 on the Bund where we found the pool table unused and waiting for us. Rachel, who had never played before, caught on quickly. 5 on the Bund is a classy, expensive place but we got there in time for happy hour so we got to play pool for free and enjoyed two-for-one drinks so it ended up costing us only 80 yuan. [US$10]

On Tuesday, we met two other people from the English corner, David, a businessman who owns a car, and No No, a young lady friend of his, who drove us out to the newer area of Pudong, which is mostly residential and filled with high rise apartment houses, a couple fancy hotels and a few restaurants. There's also a nice park, Century Park, which we spent a couple hours exploring. There's a ponsai (what the Japanese call "bonsai") garden and a small lake, and some nice trees and foliage. Surrounded by the burgeoning new city, it appears that Century Park will soon fulfill a role similar to that of Central Park in New York.

We finished the evening with dinner at a "hot pot" Chinese restaurant, which was quite an experience. The basic format is that each table has a propane burner in the middle on which is placed a pot of broth. You then select from a variety of meat and vegetable offerings brought to your table, which you cook one after another in the broth. Our pot came with a whole duck and a variety of herbs and spices. I managed to prevail upon my companions to avoid selecting most of the Chinese favorites (which to me and most westerners seem weird), so it turned out to be a pretty enjoyable dinner.

On the morning of my departure, September 28, James met me at the Captain Hostel, where I was staying. As I was checking out, I overheard the woman next to me asking directions to the MagLev train station. Since that was our destination also, I introduced myself. Barbara turned out to be a consultant and professor of management from California who has taught several times in China and was booked to return on the same flight to San Francisco. The three of us agreed to share a taxi to the MagLev station in Pudong where we would board the ultra-modern "magnetic levitation" train that goes to the Pudong airport. The train ride is expensive by Chinese standards (50 yuan or about $6.25) but it's a thrilling experience. Reaching a top speed of about 260 miles per hour [431 kilometres per hour], the trip to the airport takes less than 8 minutes.

>>>>>>>>

As you can tell from Tom's recollections, we all had a great time. So if you are heading out to China and would like to stop over in Shanghai for a few days, I'd love to show you around as well. After all, I've been welcomed all over the world by some of the greatest LETS hosts you could hope for (you can read about them in my LETS Tours books: Global Quest for Local LETS, Land of the LETS Green Dollar and 400-Day LETS Odyssey) so it's great to change roles and play 'host' for a change.

---

European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining ou" and after ziz fifz yer,
ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

---

28 Aug 2005

International LETS Connections

When I made a decision to come to China for a year – so I could concentrate on just writing and publishing – I thought my only face-to-face LETS contacts would be with Chinese people.

After all, China isn’t one of your popular tourist destinations.

However, I’ve recently been pleasantly surprised to hear from LETS people who have asked to meet me in Shanghai!

Last week I met with Sebastiano Scròfina, a 22-year-old Italian researcher in the field of alternative currencies. We had an interesting conversation in a Starbucks Coffee shop (in the heart of the city) and then ended the night by going to a Tango class in the evening! Those Italians certainly know how to mix business with pleasure.

He asked if I had ever been to Italy, and when I told him I hadn’t, he instantly offered to host me in his home in Rome on my next world tour – even though I had only met him a couple of hours earlier!

I never cease to be amazed at how much like a “family” LETS is, and has been, for me.

In a few days I will also be meeting with Thomas Greco. Tom is a world-renowned authority on money and founder of Reinventing Money.
http://www.reinventingmoney.com

As well as being an expert on the money system, Tom is also a published author, so I’m looking forward to getting some tips from him on writing and publishing.

A couple of days ago Tom asked if I knew of anyone who had Flash experience (using a computer, not a trench coat!).

Here’s what he wrote:

… Do you know anyone who is skilled at doing Flash animation? I think that may be a good way to teach the concept of mutual credit clearing.

Here's what I have in mind:

I was just discussing this in an email to John Zube.

Here's what I said:

... it is very important that we use the best available visual materials, simulations, games, etc. to educate the masses.

I am envisioning a Flash presentation that shows the fluctuations in a set of accounts (perhaps 20 or 30 in number) as a set of hypothetical transactions (maybe 100 in number) are executed. All the paired transaction data could first be presented in a spreadsheet, then a bar-graph animation would show the account balances bouncing up and down. Total amounts of value cleared would also be registered for each account and for the total system demonstrating very clearly that no money is necessary. … Tom

[In his next email he wrote:]

Les Squires has developed a "ticket system" to keep track of work done on collaborative projects. I've just begun to learn how to use it. ... Tom

So, you will be rewarded for your efforts with “tickets”.

I’m sure he’ll explain how you’ll be able to use them. So if you, or someone you know, can help Tom with his Flash work, please contact me and I will forward your email on to him.

And this week I am being interviewed by XinMing Evening Post, the largest circulating Chinese newspaper in Shanghai.

As you can see, I’m not so anonymous or isolated as I had expected to be.

James

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Be Nice To Your Nurse

A billionaire had to spend a couple of days in the hospital. He was a royal pain in the butt to the nurses because he bossed them around just like he did his staff. None of the hospital staff wanted to have anything to do with him.

The head nurse was the only one who could stand up to him. She came into his room and announced, "I have to take your temperature."

After complaining for several minutes, the billionaire finally settled down, crossed his arms and opened his mouth.

"No, I'm sorry, the nurse stated, "but for this reading, I can't use an oral thermometer."

This started another round of complaining, but eventually he rolled over and bared his backside.

After feeling the nurse insert the thermometer, the billionaire heard her announce, "I have to get something. Now you stay JUST LIKE THAT until I get back!"

She leaves the door to his room open on her way out. The billionaire curses under his breath as he hears people walking past his door, laughing.

After a half hour, the billionaire's doctor comes into the room.

"What's going on here?" asked the doctor.

Angrily, the billionaire answers, "What's the matter, Doc? Haven't you ever seen someone having their temperature taken?"

After a pause, the doctor confesses, "Yes, but Not with a carnation."

---

5 July 2005

Final-Edit Versions of LETS ebooks Now Available

Thanks to everyone who sent in corrections and suggestions for improving the pre-final edit versions of The LETSaholic Twist and The Globetrotting LETSaholic. Your input has made both books much more presentable, accurate and useful for future readers.

In fact, I’m so pleased with the results that unless I get an order for at least 1,000 books I won’t be printing bound copies of either book!

Offering these books as downloadable ebooks has also solved the posting and transportation headache that I envisaged having with orders coming from every corner of the globe. Three cheers for the internet!

For those who have been waiting for printed copies, all is not lost. The new ebooks have been designed to be printer friendly. So you can print a very good quality version of both ebooks.

The number of improvements I made are really too numerous to mention and sometimes a little embarrassing too – like the 724 spelling and grammar corrections I made in The LETSaholic Twist alone! I couldn’t believe how careless I’d been.

I've even added additional stories to both books. In Chapter 3 of The LETSaholic Twist, the "More On Business Members" segment relays a discussion I had with a LETS member regarding the pros and cons of businesses using LETS.

In this article I share my views about businesses benefitting from trading EGAFS - Excess Goods And Future Services.

It's a thought-provoking issue worth consideration by all LETS organisations. In fact, it's worth purchasing the book for this story alone.

The new story I added in The Globetrotting LETSaholic is called "Gold Nuggets For Goldring Members".

It 's about my experience with Guenter Koch, founder of the Goldring system which pays it's members in GOLD! I know it's true because I got paid a gold nugget for doing some editing while I was there! Actually, it's included in Chapter 1, so you can even get it with the FREE sample download.

So all-in-all , I’m very happy to finally present the LETS world with a couple of professional quality ebook publications.

You can sample both of them by clicking on their “FREE sample download” buttons.

So, please … enjoy!

Happy trading, James

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VW v. Rolls Royce

A man from Texas, driving a Volkswagen Beetle, pulls up next to a billionaire in a Rolls Royce at a stop sign. Their windows are open and he yells at the billionaire, "Hey, you got a telephone in that Rolls?"

The billionaire says, "Yes, of course I do."

"I got one too... see?” the Texan says.

"Uh, huh, yes, that's very nice."

"You got a fax machine?" asks the Texan.

"Why, actually, yes, I do."

"I do too! See? It's right here!" brags the Texan.

The light is just about to turn green and the guy in the Volkswagen says, "So, do you have a double bed in back there?"

The billionaire replies, "NO! Do you?"

"Yep, got my double bed right in back here," the Texan replies.

The light turns and the Volkswagen takes off.

Well, the billionaire is not about to be one-upped, so he immediately goes to a customizing shop and orders them to put a double bed in back of his Rolls.

About two weeks later, the job is finally done. He picks up his Rolls and drives all over town looking for the Volkswagen beetle with the Texas plates. Finally, he finds it parked alongside the road, so the billionaire pulls his Rolls up next to it.